cop: who the hell ordered all these pizzas
me: you said i got one phone call
if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that george bush was once informed that 4 brazilian people were killed in iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’
getting up at 6:00 am made me realize that 6:00 am isnt a place it is an emotion
6:00 am isn’t a place at all
thats because it is an emotion
my mom told me to put the dog to bed but didn’t specify which bed
I wanna do something productive but I don’t wanna leave my bed a classic novel written by me
i speak four languages and they’re called horny sad hungry and annoying
There are books that one reads over and over again, books that become part of the furniture of one’s mind and alter one’s whole attitude to life, books that one dips into but never reads through, books that one reads at a single sitting and forgets a week later.
I enjoy controlled loneliness. I like wandering around the city alone. I’m not afraid of coming back to an empty flat and lying down in an empty bed. I’m afraid of having no one to miss, of having no one to love.
one difference between cats and dogs is that dogs do absolutely nothing to mask their clinginess while cats pretend it’s a coincidence they’re in the same room as you 97% of the time
"The fact I am laying on your face means nothing"